I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
