Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
