We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
