come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
