last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
