i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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