I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We had to coat check the pizza.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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