How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
