Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
