when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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