I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
