I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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