I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
