I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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