taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
