See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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