Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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