She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
