Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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