Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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