if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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