My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
