I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
