Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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