oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize