is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
