At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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