The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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