a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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