Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
