you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
