I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
