Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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