At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
