Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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