Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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