You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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