I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
