cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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