GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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