I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
