I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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