Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
