Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
