whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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