Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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