I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
