where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are we still banned from the library?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
