i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
