this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
