i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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