so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize