..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize