no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
