Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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