rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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