There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize