last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
