and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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