honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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