I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
