Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
