There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
