you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
