we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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