I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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