If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
