Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
