just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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